Newsflash in the War on Christmakwanizikaa
This just in – a major corporation has fired the next volley in the War On Christmas – they have declared that they will not tell their employees to say “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays”.
They went on to say “this is because we do not police every misbegotten thing that comes out of our employees’ mouths. They are human beings and we treat them like adults because the last time we checked there were laws preventing child labor. As long as they’re not telling our customers to go fornicate with Frosty, they’re entitled to whatever beliefs they may have, and inasmuch as they’re wishing good cheer and many nice things to our customers, we have to say we’re pretty much okay with it. Yes, Happy Hanukkah too. If our customers want to respond in kind, they are welcome to – and welcome to respond with a different message if they have different beliefs. And we’re okay with that. Really. So if you have a problem with our employees expressing their wishes for you to have a nice day and or solstice season in the style of their choosing, feel free to shop somewhere else, or perhaps jump in a lake.”
The store’s representative could not be reached for further comment. The chain’s headquarters has been torched to the ground by a group of self-satisfied self-righteous prigs of all stripes who finally determined that the only thing they could all agree to hate together was an appeal to common decency.
