The Propheteer

We’ve given up our non-prophet status

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Zombie dreams

August 3, 2009 (1:22 pm) | By: hitch

I had a dream last night…
I was part of an elite zombie fighting team (featuring Rick Moranis!) hunting down the last few remaining pockets of zombies in the world.
The dream opened as we all piled into a car to escape a small group of zombies who then proceeded to climb into the car *next* to us, start it up, and then attempt to ram us with their car.
Yes, that’s right – Zombie Demolition Derby.
I’m not sure how we got out of that situation, because the scene flipped to our weapons guy explaining how to work our latest tool – a gun that, fired into a zombie, piggybacked on their eyes and ears so we could follow them around. I’m not sure how that was suppposed to help…I thought zombies usually just roamed around in hordes, it’s not like I’ve ever seen a movie where you followed one zombie back to the lair.
Anyway, somehow this managed to backfire – the Zombie Lord (they’ve got LORDS?!) managed to get hold of this weapon and used it on his own guys so he could send one to us and demand a face-to-face meeting to discuss some kind of arrangement.
It was about here that I woke up.

I hate dreaming about zombies. very creepy.


November 22, 2008 (10:22 am) | By: hitch

When I started this site um…..many….years ago….(I honestly can’t remember) I wanted to use a domain of “non-prophet” or “non-prophet-consortium” or similar. Sadly, everything I was thinking of was taken. I finally stumbled upon “propheteer”, thinking it a clever pun on “profiteer” – though I seem to recall it being suggested to me rather than coming up with it on my own. Regardless, I thought it was a pretty good name, particularly as it was short and kept to the general theme. I had no idea that being a propheteer was an actual…thing. Wikipedia always says the darndest things.
(These days I find myself kinda wishing I’d chosen something else. Propheteering is all well and good, but it’s confusing as heck to spell, religious nuts look at you funny when you give them your email address, and while I’m still all about the Principia, I’m probably one of 5 people I know that gets the reference. And I had to explain it to 4 of them.)

UnCivil Union

November 21, 2008 (3:16 pm) | By: hitch

Warning: I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and every time I sit down to write it, too much tries to froth forth into my fingers at once. If this whole screed seems a bit jumbled and disjointed, that’s why.

The arguments about same-sex marriage are frustrating to me. Primarily because I hate watching two or more parties yell past each other at the top of their lungs while both sides seem to miss the point entirely. Let’s get this out in the open and say it plainly:

I think that the government of the United States of America should in no way recognize the marriage of same-sex couples.

I think that the government should recognize a civil union contract which, for legal purposes, should replace the legal contract of marriage.

I mean “replace”. Really and truly. Not just for same-sex couples, but for all sets of individuals which seek to form a “civil union”.

The root for my thought process is thus: The most vehemently stated reason that same-sex marriages should be banned is that marriage, as defined by “God”, is between a man and a woman. The doctrine of separation of church and state is, generally, fairly clear, but in this case it gets fuzzy as the state recognizes marriage and confers certain rights to people who have married, but people keep screaming that marriage is a religious thing in addition. The problem is that you can’t have it both ways. Therefore, here’s what we need to do:

The State should in no way recognize “marriage”. The people who are currently married are, henceforth, by the government – state, federal, and otherwise – to be seen to have engaged into a “civil union”, governed by the existing rules that apply to marriages. Future civil unions will be recognized by those same rules, and apply to whatever groupings of individuals it becomes necessary to apply these to. (You want to marry your dog? Fine. Get him/her to be declared competent to enter into a contract and we’ll talk.)
Marriage, then, is solely the domain of the Church. Therefore, whatever church decides to recognize a particular marriage is their own decision. If Catholics don’t recognize Methodist marriages, or if Presbyterians decide that Reformed Presbyterians are off their nut because of that thing about escargot on Tuesdays….then whatever. The point being that then, yes, “Marriage” is whatever each individual church decides is God’s definition. Because I know that there are plenty of churches out there that can’t agree between themselves on this. How can it be possible that they can all agree on gender? Answer: they can’t. So while the Gay Rights movement is frustrated that we want to allow Civil Unions but not call them “Marriages”, I think they’re missing the boat on this. I’m all for it – give us Civil Unions. Give them to us all. Because this is a civil liberties issue, and the government absolutely needs to step up and make this right. But they can’t tell a church how to define marriage. That’s okay, though. Because there are enough rational people out there that I’m sure everyone will be able to work this out.

It’s tough, though, when you get two almost-but-not-quite-the-same concepts mixed together like this. It makes it really difficult to pull them apart and look at them individually, when that’s all it really takes to work it out.

Not that I’m suggesting this is the last word. I full expect this to piss off as many people (on both sides of the argument) as it could to give people something to think about. All I’m asking is that we do think it through.

I need a bicycle like a fish needs…um…some mode of transportation faster than walking

October 1, 2008 (7:54 am) | By: hitch

Memo to cyclists I talk to about bicycles:
When I say “I’d really like a faster bike”, that means that I’d like to discuss what bikes are good, the relative merits of various bike manufacturers, parts that are important to pay attention to, etc.
It does not mean that I want to be told that, if you gave Lance Armstrong my bike and gave me his, he would still proceed to trounce my butt in a race.
No Way! Years of training, dedication, and persistence combined with a love for your sport and a never-say-die attitude result in excellence? Who knew?

Here’s the thing, though – I’m not racing Lance Armstrong. I am not, in fact, racing. I am commuting – and, occasionally, though not as often as I’d like, I ride for fun on the weekends.

On the first occasion, I have a set distance I have to go that I’d like to complete in as short a time as possible. Even Lance Armstrong can complete set distances in less time on faster bikes. Imagine that. I suspect that if that were not the case, there wouldn’t be any such thing as road bikes. (for the record, I have a hybrid. so it’s not a matter of shaving off grams, it’s a matter of a completely different style of frame and configuration, designed for speed rather than an ability to go just about anywhere*)

On the second, I want to be able to go as far as possible in a set time, so that I can see as much as I can see, go new and interesting places, etc. Again, while increased physical prowess will assist with that, combining it with a significantly faster bike will help too.

Finally, and this is the really important thing, if you were to go speak to Mr. Armstrong and say “Hey, we want you to go race some guy. You can either choose this low-to-mid-range hybrid over here or this nice mid-range road bike” I strongly suspect he’d choose the road bike. Not to do so would be called “grandstanding” and it’s what lost the Hare his race against the Tortoise.

Remember, kids. Slow and steady only wins the race against the fast when the fast are also incompetent. If the Hare hadn’t been cocky and arrogant, he’d have beat the Tortoise hands down. Unfortunately, he ended up throwing the race and was later made into fricasse by Guido and Tony for completely blowing their numbers in the side-bets.

*And as with all things that do everything, they don’t do anything as well as something designed explicitly for one purpose.

I’m how old?

September 30, 2008 (2:52 pm) | By: hitch

So I turned 30 on Friday. I’m not that old, really, though, right? Right?
I’m being told by many people older than me that 30 isn’t so bad – part of me thinks that perhaps they’re telling me that so that they don’t feel so old, but part of me thinks that they’re probably right, given how I’m feeling these days*.
Sabrina threw me a surprise party – for some value of “Surprise” – She threw a party, which I knew was coming, 99.9% of the details of which were a surprise. This, for me, is the best kind of surprise party. I don’t freak out when I notice there’s subterfuge going on behind my back, I don’t spaz about the details, and I’m able to be told of specific things I shouldn’t be doing so that I can avoid accidentally finding out about things I shouldn’t know.
For this party, though, Sabrina went above and beyond. On top of inviting all my family (all of whom I was thrilled to see – particularly Aunt Charlotte and Eli and Verna & Rick) she went through and found people we haven’t seen since college, friends of mine from work, friends we love but rarely get to hang out with, and, on top of everything, she’d been working with my best friend since June to come out here from California 3 weeks earlier than he’d initially intended just to make it here in time for the party. She had several people talking about how they wouldn’t be able to be around that weekend, Jeff (the California dude) even called me day-of to tell me “Happy Birthday, sorry I missed you on the actual day, how’s the weather out there in VA?”
They got me good. And it was awesome. I can’t even say how touched I was to have all those people show up (and I know now that it’s over and people can talk about it that even more wanted to but couldn’t shift their schedules around)
Thank you Sabrina. I can’t even begin to express how much I appreciate what you’ve done.
Although I do approach your upcoming party with some trepidation. There’s no way I can hope to match this.

* well, not these days. Right now I feel pretty lousy, as I’m detoxing from all the cake.